Canyoneering or “We Could Have Died Eight Times!” - 10/02/2026
- Brett Sedgwick
- Feb 10
- 8 min read
Updated: Feb 23
…the author sits in front of his computer and with shaking hand raises whiskey to mouth. The single malt soothes as it goes down, The wife skols half a can of premixed goodness and lets out a sigh. Their wide-eyes meet and after a few more sips, the horrors of the day seem to lessen…
Ever heard of canyoneering? I’ve heard of the Canyaneero on The Simpsons, but canyoneering. No sir, I have not.
Well, I hadn’t before a few weeks ago until I watched a YouTube video of two 18 year old American College chicks and the “Oh My God - best experience EVER” emotions that they conveyed.
This edition of the blog is called: Canyoneering or “We Could Have Died Eight Times!”
Righto, canyoneering is when you get a life-jacket and helmet and walk, jump, crawl, swim and wade in a raging river that funnily enough flows in a canyon. Sounds fun if you’re a sprightly, mid-western co-ed. But for two unco’s in their fiddies, it’s pretty hard work, and at one point Jen said to me: “we could have died eight times” - hence today’s terrifying title. See stock pic below...
Number One - Van Ride
The humidity was pumping when we finally got picked up 30 minutes late at 9.30am. We jumped into the back of the van, but me being an obese giant, my head touched the roof. Anyway Jen and I got seated in the front - Jen in the middle, me on the right. (The driver is on the left in Philippines, and technically they drive on the right… more on that later.) I clipped my belt in, but the driver told Jen - Sorry Ma’am - no middle belt. Righto she says and puts her feet on the dash to brace for impact if we crash. Anyway we pick up about 10 other crew and for the next 20 minutes fly around the concrete roads that make up this part of Moalboal. Like a lot of SE Asia, road lanes are just a guide and people can drive on either side of the road as long as they beep their horn to indicate overtaking. It’s still nerve racking for a pair of safe driving Aussies though. To be fair, our driver was pretty good, but we were glad to exit the vehicle at Badian Kawasan Canyoneering HQ.
We then filled out waivers if we should die, next of kin etc… before getting kitted up in life jackets and helmets. We then waited with 8 other people for our transportation to the canyoneering adventure.
Number Two - Ute Ride
The guides and our group then piled into a Nissan Navara. No worries you might think, you’d be wrong. About 10 guides and our group of ten were expected to get into this thing. The inside seats filled up quickly with about 16 of us crammed into the Navara tray. Jen and I stood up the front of the tray and the guides told us to grab on to the plastic lining around the cab. For the first 100 metres, this was gold. Highway driving standing in the ute with a cool breeze on our heads. Then it started raining, the plastic hand holds got slippery and old mate left the highway for a 10 km winding concrete road, that he decided was his own personal Hardie Feroda at Buthurst. Jen managed to sit in the tray, but I had to alternate, standing in the rain and squatting on my haunches while not trying to knock the skinny guides off into the jungle and somehow keep my grip.
It was a fucking nightmare and when we finally got to the canyoneering compound, my legs were jelly, my nerves were shot and my adrenaline was coursing. “Oh well,” we said, “this’ll make zip-lining look like a breeze.”
Number Three - Motorbike Threesome
We had the option to walk 45 minutes in the humidity to the start of the canyon or get a zipline down that took one minute. We opted for the walk to save money but then we were like, you know what, fuck that. Let’s get down into the cool water ASAP!
Before this though, the rest of our group headed off with their guides but our funny little dude kept telling us that we were waiting for another guide. Why were we being singled out? Why did we need a different guide? Why couldn’t this like frog-dude take us? Anyway, we told him we’d zipline but he said the wait was an hour long. We looked at the people lining up and it did look long, but then he said, he knew another one, with no wait. Righto let’s go. He looks at this little Honda 125 (or equivalent) and says “You go motorbike!”
What the actual fuck???
Just then another dude rocks up, gets on the bike and motions for Jen to jump on. I’m thinking he’ll take her and then come back for me, but nuh, he tells me to get on too.
That poor like bike.
The trip probably only took five minutes but for two nerve-frayed farangs (Thai term, I know) it felt like longer. We started on the old concrete road that went up at about a 45 degree angle and my wife kept yelling “Brett’s on the back, we’ll probably do a wheelie and all fall off!” Thanks for the vote of confidence Jen-Jen. After this terrifying ascent, we turned onto a 50cm concrete path that basically cut through the jungle, up and down, on the edge of cliffs, next to shanty shacks, dogs barking, people staring, before we came out to the Zip-line platform. The motorbike and driver were champions and just did what had to be done.
By now my nerves were on overdrive and my smart ring actually stopped working to record my heart rate and BP. Frog-Dude (who’s name was Jason and was an actual legend) then rocked up out of nowhere and said: Let’s zip line. Sign Here. Another death waiver with our signatures!
Number Four - Zip Lining
There was no time to be scared, no time to back out.
The forest was shrouded in mist and every two minutes, another two to four people were hooked up to the zipline and flew over the jungle.
Jason asked if we wanted to sit solo, sit double or go Superman. We both elected to sit solo but at the last minute, I changed it to Superman.
I’m terrified of heights, but my thought was it might feel like flying if I was laying down and it would somehow feel more pure - sorry to get wanky about it.
Anyway, Jen-Jen went solo sitting and took a video and Grandude did Superman.
It was dangerous, exhilarating, freeing, and something that I now want to try again. I honestly believe that the setting and weather made it feel like something out of a fantasy book and I was on a dragon… or something.
Check the video below.
Number Five - The Slippery Stairs of Kawasan
Author’s note: This may seem over dramatic, but it all happened so fast and is all true. From the time that we got picked up until now was probably just an hour. A jam-packed hour of adrenaline and crazy fuckers…
I was buzzing man, absolutely buzzing from the zip line, but there was no time to sit and discuss what an accomplishment it was for someone so scared of heights, instead we had to walk down - and I shit you not - about 400 winding jungle stairs to the start of the canyon. The leaf litter and rain made each concrete step arduous and of course, they were all different heights. Jen’s glasses were fogged up, and she couldn’t see shi,t and so we took our time.
My adrenaline wore off after about 40 steps…
We also didn’t know how many people visit this place each day (about 1000 in peak time like today), and they were all behind us, which made it even more stressful as they were so narrow that you couldn’t overtake.
We made it to the start of the canyon and there was a line of about 100 tourists and guides in front of us and about 300 behind!!
We didn’t slip, no ankles were broken, and we’d finally made it to the start of the canyon - (what a fuckin’ gee up!!) We were flogged, and we hadn’t even started yet!!
Numbers Six and Seven - Canyoneering Bitches!!
From Google: What is canyoneering in the Philippines?
Canyoneering - finding bliss in Cebu's hidden gems. It's a combination of walking, rock climbing, hiking, cliff jumping, rappelling and swimming while travelling down many canyons, waterfalls, nature pools and cliffs using these various techniques.
FFS - what are these two old farts doing this for??
Because we ROCK (jump)
🙂
Our second guide ran down the 45-minute walking trail to meet us at the canyon. His name was Prince, and he was a good guy. We found out that because we had to put our ages on the form and we were both over 50, we needed a guide each… anyway, Jason looked after Jen for the entire 4 hours, and Prince was with me.
The next four hours were incredible. I’m stealing Jen-Jen’s fb post to describe it:
“The most physically demanding, terrifyingly dangerous, yet exhilarating day of my life. These pics don't show the scrambling over slippery rocks next to deep pounding waters, so wild and tumultuous, if you slipped, you would never be seen again. Or, hurrying, because there are 100 people right behind you, across rock shelves 15cm wide in the rain (with no glasses cause its raining) with a 3m drop-off. There was no time for fear, (although I WAS absolutely shitting myself), even with an hour to go and I'd smashed my knee twice and twisted my ankle. My poor guide, Jason, about half my size, thought he was gonna have to carry me out. Thank God for the good ole Bob Harvey willpower that got me to the end.”
To be honest, I loved parts of it. The swimming in the pools was blissful, and the rock jumping was cool. Just being so far away from the city and connected to nature was gold. It was very hard on the body, and as we’ve stated, the sheer amount of people that were there was insane, but it was like another world. The typhoon two days earlier had smashed some of the vegetation, and as a consequence, the ferocity of the waterfalls was intense due to the amount of water present. It would have been nice to see the colour of the water if it was a sunny day, but I was so glad for the clouds and the rain as this half gorilla unit doesn’t handle humidity at all. Parts of it were torturous, and parts were gold. The guides were fantastic, and the water was heavenly.
We finally made it to Kawasan Falls, had a swim near the big waterfall and then walked the 20-minute sedate path back to the pickup area in the rain. We had a good yarn with Prince on the way back - he took all of the videos on Jen’s phone for us - and found out that he is studying to be a primary school teacher! Good luck, brother, it’s more stressful than canyoneering!! Haha.
We then waited for the van in the rain with guides, and he rocked up a few minutes later.
Inside the van was dry, and there were about six tourists and 8 guides in there. We all settled in for the leisurely drive back to HQ…
Number Eight - Van Ride Two - Psycho Piastri at the wheel
This van ride was terrifying!
Old mate sped up to each corner and almost drifted around in the rain. He was either on a tight schedule, or he was pissed, or he was trying to impress his Misso in the front.
This was ridiculous, and we were holding on for life!
The guides were yelling at him to slow down - and he briefly did.
I got a good laugh from the guides when I put my helmet back on, and they told me it would be alright.
We finally got back to HQ, put on clean undies and dry clothes, had lunch of fried chicken, veg noodles and boiled rice, and we gave Prince and especially Jason a nice tip.
A sedate van ride back to Seascape saw us home at 4.30 and after getting changed went straight for a massage on our wrecked bodies.
Well, that’s it.
We didn’t die.
We Canyoneered.
We were the oldest people there, but we did it, and we’ll remember it forever.
Not a bad way to start the 2026 adventure.
We’re off to Oslob tomorrow to swim with whale sharks - bucket list is getting smaller every day my friends.
Sedge out. Slainte'
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